January 10, 2024
I DID IT
Two consecutive days!
BOOOYAAAA
Go me!
Hahaha.
Currently my back is aching as I sit at Bobo’s snack bar. I just spent 20-30 minutes talking to the owner as she vented and let out some frustration and stress about owning this business. I feel for her. It’s an amazing business and I can’t understand why I’m the only person here on a Wednesday. Ive been here since 5:30, and no one else has come in… I feel like I want to help her. Because this place is neat. And I truly don’t understand why it isn’t working out. Not sure what I can do.
Maybe I can get the moms of mueller over here? Or come her more often and get others to join? Ill keep thinking on it.
A) 5 gratitudes
B) Plans for the day, or tomorrow
C) Any fears or resentments
D) Things to watch out for
E) Things to strive for
A) 1. For the release and relaxation journaling has given me
2. For feeling creative and the ups and downs of that. How life humbles you in unexpected ways.
3. Human connection and feeling apart of a community here in Mueller
4. Wine. Oh do I love you.
5. Having a desire to do something. You just don’t always feel willing.
B) Tomorrow I have quite a lot to catch up on, on my to do list. And I need to come up with some ideas for our next FFF. I need to do something sexy for addison tonight. I think that will help show him I’m here for him. That will be important for our relationship.
C) Today I had a fear that I was loosing touch with my creative side because I made some creative choices that I in turn didnt agree with. But its okay for me to change my mind. That is natural and will happen. I need to find out how to have that coexist with our finances. Or at the minimum consider that before purchases.
D) I think allowing myself to gossip yesterday held me back for the day more than I realized. I need to focus on myself and my goals. Not others. Clearly it takes more out of me than I think. And for someone with a lot of goals, I need to be able to do what I can to get some more hours in my day.
E) Stive for consistency. Keep chipping away. Consistency doesn’t have to be flawless. But repetitive. Habitual.
January 9th, 2024
Hello,
I keep wanting to write but the time of day I feel most inspired and have the juices flowing is normally when I am walking. Unfortunately I can’t stop to type because I have Shipley attached to my hip, literally, and pushing Dot in the stroller with my hands. One day there will be a way to record your thoughts.
…Now thinking about it, that might be too intrusive…
I guess this is the way to record your thoughts, you know… writing them down?
But sometimes I think faster than I write and I can’t always get it down the way I think about it. So….. some thoughts are gone in the wind or the abyss of my head I guess.
I’m feeling tired today. I woke up around 6:30 having to pee and then couldn’t go back to sleep. I woke up, started making some sour dough and then Dot woke up shortly after. I always love hearing her play with her stuffies, just entertaining herself while shes in the crib. I can already see her being such a nurturing person. I love that about her.
I’ve been rethinking the book I want to write and considering it to now be about resentment that I’ve been harboring thus far in my life. Now that im 30 I’d really like to let that shit go and be able to fully take advantage of my life instead of obsessing over things that have happened and fake conversations. I have my own family now to think of and take care of. I dont have time to bog myself down with resentments and allow that to affect me in my life now. Its time to move the fuck on.
A) 5 gratitudes
B) Plans for the day, or tomorrow
C) Any fears or resentments
D) Things to watch out for
E) Things to strive for
A) 1. I am grateful for my healthy, happy and curious daughter.
2. I am grateful for her strong communication skills. Her confidence in her word. And her honesty.
3.I am grateful for having a change of mind set recently and really wanting to change myself.
4. I am grateful for my husband for meeting me at the same place in wanting to transform our selves and the goals we set for the year.
5. I am grateful for all of the self reflection and love my husband has shown himself. I love the man is and the one he is becoming.
B) Today I am going to catch up on some writing. Finish packing up holiday stuff and take Dot to the Thinkery! It’s mommy daughter day/dads day out. Maybe I will get around to reorganizing the kitchen, but honestly probably not. I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t, just shuffle it back into the to do list.
C) Today I had a fear that I still need to go to the doctor and have my urinary tract checked out. I just keep putting off making the appointment. Honestly its why I got up early and couldn’t fall back asleep. I had this fear that I might have cancer and I don’t know… and couldn’t stop thinking about how that would affect our lives….I need to make an appointment.
D) I need to watch out for me being lazy and not hitting my habits. I need to stay back on top of them. And hold myself accountable.
E) Strive for balance and happiness. A warm and comfortable home. And a soul that is at ease.
January 6, 2024
Not a single consistent day yet! Ha!
At least I’ve journaled 3 times this week! That’s more than 2023 combined, so I’m counting this as a WIN.
I’ve been reading Brene Brown’s book, “Braving the Wilderness” and I’m really enjoying her writing. I’ve always wanted to read her books but now that I have a Libby/APL account it makes reading and listening to books way way better… FREE. I’ll be sure to add more of her books in my to read list, even though it is like a zillion books long.
Jamie, my therapist recommended I start journaling these topics:
A) 5 gratitudes
B) Plans for the day, or tomorrow
C) Any fears or resentments
D) Things to watch out for
E) Things to strive for
Let’s give it a go…
A) 1. Addison letting me sleep in today so I could catch up on some rest
2. Addison making a meal plan for the week
3. Addison helping around the house and trimming dog nails
4. Return policies
5. Sam’s club discounts
B) Tomorrow, we are going to wake up and go on a walk to review our week and upcoming week. We will make coffee before hand so we don’t buy any while we are out. And maybe we will go play in the park. When we come home we will meal prep. Get the house set up for the week, knock out some chores. Then eat dinner at the table and spend more time with Dottie.
C) I fear for our finances. We really need to start making money now that Addison decided to leave “Scot”
D) I need to watch out for this coyote apparently walking around our neighborhood. And me avoiding or procrastinating things.
E) I need to keep striving for my goals, especially my writing ones. Just keep chipping away on your todo list so it will be more manageable over time.
Still feeling pretty good for the year. Addison and I seem to be doing a lot better and thats been such a weight off my shoulders. Already I feel like I have the ability to actually get things done this year through emotional support and physically support with watching Dot. We have really come along way and I am so grateful of that. I really need to find time this week to write my next article for the magazine. Putting that on my todo list for the week now.
January 3, 2024
WHOOPS, I skipped a day lol.
I guess I’ll just have to get over that and honestly the likely-hood of me writing in my journal EVERY SINGLE DAY is just not a realistic goal. There are going to be days that it wont be tangible and there will be days I just dont want it. And I think im going to be okay with that. I just want to push myself to write a lot more in hopes it helps me get out of my head, not have such diverse and crazy racing thoughts and maybe provide some peace.
Usually when I write and get it out of my head, I stop obsessing over the same thought and it doesn’t progress and take up my mental space and allows me to focus and actually do the things I want to do. Fingers crossed that helps me get some things done that I want to do for the year.
But… it’s the third day of the year. Im feeling optimistic. Continuously ratteling off ideas of things to do this year to help our financial situations. Is there a way to make a lot of money from home as a stay at home mom and only have to do it for like maybe an hour a day? Seriously? Is it porn? Kinda feeling like I might do that…. No, I’m not confident enough in my body for porn. And terrified that someone I know would see it. Like… literally anyone.
YIKES.
Okay, it’s no to porn then.
January 1, 2024
Reflecting on 2024 and setting goals for 2024
2023 Reflections:
I am grateful for these moments in 2023:
Addison’s family and their support and dedication to our family
Our beautiful daughter, Dottie
A mutual desire to keep working on us
Problems we faced, how we overcame them and things we learned:
We moved to a new home/city. We settled in, got bikes, and truly embraced our new lives. We learned we can pick up and settle down pretty easily and that Austin is a great city to raise a family in!
We faced some relationship troubles, possibly one of the hardest years yet, depending on how to look at it. We have gotten better with our communication. We can get to resolutions faster with out as much back and fourth with a willingness to hear each other out. I am better at bringing up topics later when tension has settled and Addison is better at being able to pause a conversation for a later time.
We did have family drama(what’s new). We have gotten better at not letting it affect us. We have our own family to worry about now.
Memories:
Dot and Remi’s relationship has been so fun to watch bloom!
It’s such a treat to watch Dot become a tot. From trying foods, learning to walk and talk, dance, swim, doing everything for the first time.
My favorite picture of the year was us on the swing at my dad’s during Memorial Day weekend.
Utah was such a blast! Truly an epic family trip and celebration of 1 year with DOT!
I started a pod cast and that was so cool and fun! I felt so proud of myself
We had a lot of fun dates, like western night!!!
I started writing for our neighborhood magazine! That was super cool! Kinda kick starting my writing journey/career 🤞
Literally any picture of Dot and MoMa&PoPa is so cute.
Personal Achievements:
Writing and Podcasting, I really put myself out there and met new people.
Being a patient mother. I take a lot of pride in the mother I am!
Relationship Achievements:
All our date nights!!!
Bettering our communication
Being really great parents
Traveling and exploring with Dot
2024 Goals & Next Steps:
Write a book
write every day, set deadlines and writing goals
Journal everyday
plan to journal before bed every night & set up a journal
Sew clothing
plan projects and when to work on them
Stop buying bread
keep making bread at home
Stop obsessing over bad interactions.
release what I can not control, MOVE ON!
Have a weekly date night
plan date nights for the year, rotate making them
Go on a family vacation
pick a weekend and destination. Put it on the calendar
Get turf in the back yard
start saving up, get a turf jar?
Start the podcast up again
plan episodes for the year, make obtainable goals
Make new girl friends
weekly haylee and addison days to go out
Host more parties
plan a date every month to host something?